Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
