I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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