I'm jealous of your bromance
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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