I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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