wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
