remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
bring money and cleavage
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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