last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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