im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
