I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
