My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
