so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
ok first of all what the fuck
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
