Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
