We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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