you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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