Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
