She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize