my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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