Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
