is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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