I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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