Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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