We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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