I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
