I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
