Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
