If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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