I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
