Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
