I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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