Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
