You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
