how can u be prego again
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Randomize
