Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Randomize
