does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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