Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
