i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
