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great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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