Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
