If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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