About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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