I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
