hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
