Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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