sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
