She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I need a burrito and a hug.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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