So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
