So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
