If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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