You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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