This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
