Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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