the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
